So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize