Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
