STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
