i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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