her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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