Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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