It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
