where am i from again
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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