Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
