i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
