i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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