Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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