chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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