How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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