Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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