Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize