How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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