Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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