hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
