The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
