Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
