bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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