OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
