She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
