He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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