I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
