He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
