Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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