Me. At least after what I've been through.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Rumble strips road head = magical
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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