going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You ruined the universe
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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