Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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