my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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