i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
