It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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