fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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