You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm at about main and main street
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
