can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
