Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
