he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We need a shit load of segways right now
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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