she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
