y did u give ur computer a hand job?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
