Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
