No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
