He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
