Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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