Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
