i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
