You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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