Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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