I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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