this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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