I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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