Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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