Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
