I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
