Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize