Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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