we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize