Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
