If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
